Revelation

Life still very much feels like a constant roller coaster. There is still so much going on, so much changing, and so much I am hoping for. I have been struggling a lot the past two months with my faith and my journey through Christianity. I have been a Christian for right at a year now. (Which means I've also been at ECC for a year-LOVE YOU GUYS!!) Within this year I have learned so much and have been totally transformed and blessed. Well, maybe not TOTALLY transformed. There is still many things I have to understand and work on within myself as well as with different relationships in my life. When I first dived into Christianity I went head first. I put my heart and soul into it (which is really the only way to go). I came so far in such a short amount of time. Unfortunately over the past two months I have felt at a standstill. I have been feeling like I continue to stay at the same level and never progress forward. Whereas before now, I was progressing rather rapidly. Finally, this week I had a revelation. I have been feeling like GOD wasn't the same as he used to be. How foolish of me? My God is the same yesterday, today, and will be the same tomorrow. He is never changing. I am the one who has changed. I am still on fire for God and love the fact that He saved my life, but over the past two months I have just been satisfied with where I am in my walk. I haven't done anything to change that. God wants to help us and he WANTS to bless us, but if we don't put in the work..He isn't going too. I haven't been praying as much and haven't been in the Word as much as I should be. God wants to be FIRST in our life. He wants the first of everything and won't settle for less. I have Him first in some areas, but not all of them. So, I think that is a big reason in why I am still at the same level. Thank you God for being that steady rock in my life. This is MY season-my season for a turn around. If God isn't in it, I don't want to be a part of it. I have a lot of people looking at me thinking how they see me act is how a Christian is supposed to act. I don't want to lead anyone in another direction but towards Christ. I have an awesome testimony and it just keeps getting better everyday!

Another big reason that I think is hindering my blessings from God is the amount of forgiveness I still have to release in my life. There are quite a few people right now who I can't bring myself to forgive. These people have hurt me beyond words and my heart cannot find the right away to REALLY forgive them. I know thats the Devil. (He really likes me, you know). But I am convinced that by the power of prayer and through the mercifulness of God He will give me the strength and energy I need to forgive people. I can usually forgive almost anyone. I am someone who can bounce back real easily from hard times. But over the past few months (and a couple from the past.) There have been people who have really thrown me for a loop. So, over the next few months that is my prayer mission. Forgiveness. To all the people who have done me wrong. I'm not sure in what way God is going to lead me to forgive them, but I know if I do it'll be because of him. I've learned that when you are going through a really hard time there is no need to try to do it alone. Why? Whats the point? As humans we can only do so much. Why not hand it over to all-powerful? The one who can the impossible to become the possible. There is no sense in putting all the weight on our own shoulders when we can put it on the shoulders of God. He WANTS to take your burdens, He WANTS to help us. We just have to show Him that he is appriciated and that we are thankful for him. Thank you God for your never ending mercy!

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good! We can get more miracles from God by believing in Him for even one minute, rather than screaming at Him all night.